Life of an Insecure Narcissist

Contemplating furniture

2011-03-08T19:22:00.000-08:00

Ok, so we don't close until the 15th and I am already obsessing over furniture. Even when we do close we used like most (cough, all) of our money on this house that furnishing it may take a while.

So here is what I have and my priorities, I will go room by room.

"Sitting room" this is the room right by the front door, I think they call it the formal living room. Basically, it is a place where no one will sit but it is the first room you see when you enter the house so kind of important. I want this couch and two chairs plus a little table:

So this couch was a mistake by the upholster. The people who ordered it ordered one solid color and the pillows in this fabric and WHOOPS! So this is a $1499 or something couch for $799 and I think it is super cool (other opinions appreciated) So is this room a priority? I think so... but who knows

Formal dining room: Have it!!! Yay, I eventually need a buffet to put my wedding china and silverware in but this is NOT a priority

Office: Good to go, a desk, a couple of bookcases...nothing else needed for now

Kitchen: The space in between the kitchen and "great room" (basically the real living room) usually has a second dining room table but less formal, I don't know how I feel about that, we may get a little cafe set...not sure. NOT a priority

Great room: Ugh, we need a TV stand, a comfy couch (that will hold up to lots of sitting, laying and cuddling), a comfy chair (my desire), and that's it. I REALLY want to change the screen on the fire place because it is gold but it depends on how much it costs

Weirdo room with no doors: No clue, maybe some book shelves, can use what we have for now even though it is U-G-L-Y

Guest room: Need a full bed set including mattress, I really liked a set that was only $399 here is the pic:

Do guest rooms need dressers?!?! I hope not. I think this is a priority because we would like to be able to have people over and we have never had a guest room before

Art Room: No clue, ask Wayne, he doesn't know, probably won't buy anything

3rd Bedroom: Since this is now our "meditation/prayer" room, I guess we need a yoga mat? Oh! I have one from one of the times I exercised.

Master Bedroom: I NEED a bedroom set! Like an adult bedroom set. I have never had like a headboard/footboard bed (well, I didn't have my own bed until I was 15 but that is another story) So I really want the whole bed, dresser, nightstand matchy thing. OH! And don't forget the whole other half of the bedroom...the "retreat" yeah, um, that is last on my list...for now it is the puppies play area.

MISCELLANEOUS (thank goodness for spell check)

We have outside furniture, there are no lights or fans in the house but places for them in the ceiling so those will have to be purchased, I need a fridge (PRIORITY), and I want a fountain.

Decor (lamps, vases, art) are going to have to come slowly.

This will be fun, I just wish I could do it all at once.

Are you as boggled as I am? If you have any suggestions/tips/opinions, I would love to hear them!

Here I go again

2011-03-02T09:45:00.000-08:00

So, hey, it's me! TA-DA!

I am starting to feel like I have more time in my life again with the whole not being in school and not working 10 hour days.

So what's new? (You may ask but probably not since I let everything out on Facebook)

January

Well, after graduating, I had a rockin' grad party. About 50 people in my tiny town home
It worked well though since it was an open house and people came at different times
I continued working as a long time sub for an SLP that was on maternity leave
Wayne was becoming more confident that Blockbuster is going DOWN
After talking about what we want from life, Wayne and I decided we want something a little slower and after considering all out options, we decided we wanted to move to Murrieta
I went on about 6 interviews in various cities
Got offered a few jobs, but took a job at the most amazing private practice in Murrieta
Applied for my licence
Told my mother in law we were moving...one of the hardest things I had to do even though it is only a little over an hour away

February

Still working for the district, waiting for my licence to come through
Started looking at houses
Put in two offers
They were accepted

***HEY! There are only 28 days in February and I am already getting tired of writing***

March

Here we are! Had my home inspection yesterday and everything went really well. This is for sure the house for us
As I am sitting waiting for the inspector to be finished, Wayne calls to tell me that his store is closing. For all that don't understand, this could be great for us! He will possibly get a severance, we can move sooner instead of me commuting three days a week and he gets his vacation paid out. This way he isn't second guessing himself and won't have to quit! YAY!

**This is a lot of exciting stuff and I am not taking ANYTHING for granted**

Here are some pictures of the house:

Front:

Entry

Formal Living to the right, Dining to the left

Some of the kitchen

Looking into the great room from the kitchen

Formal Dining Room

Office to th right from hallway

Master Bedroom and Retreat?

Smallish Backyard

That's all from now, I have a video tour if anyone wants to see I can email it!

Chi-Chi Weezer (If you have to ask...)

2010-03-12T18:26:00.000-08:00

Tuesday was really hard again, I almost cried while jogging AGAIN!

This is why: I do ok when I work out, but jogging and doing stairs make me REALLY out of breath...like hurting and sore throat and hard to breath and then afterwards I was getting this rattling cough.

Well, I went to the Dr. for something else and talked to her about this, discussed symptoms and the past and I HAVE ASTHMA! Well, exercise induced asthma. (It's a real thing)

So the Dr. was Thursday early morning, got my inhaler right afterward and used it Thursday before personal training and I was able to run (well, jog) about 2.5 times as much as before! Can you believe that? MY WHOLE LIFE! I thought it was just ‘cause I was fat that I was breathing so hard...I mean, it is but there is an additional component as well.

So Thursday was a lot better, today I took the dog on a 40 minute walk, kind of leisurely...even though it killer her; and tomorrow is outside boot camp at 9am!

I also went to see the chiropractor on my trainer's advice because I fractured my tail bone when I was a kid, and have been super sensitive every since, and apparently my back is jacked...but not in a painful way which is funny.

My upper back is "locked up” my coccyx is all out of whack and my sacrum is twisted and slightly stuck hahahah

Ok, this is going to be long!

2010-03-08T18:45:00.000-08:00

I know, it has been almost a WEEK! I am trying to do this blogging thing after each training session, hopefully I can keep up!

Thursday was SO MUCH better! I think being sick on Tuesday just really killed me!
We started out doing the same warm ups: run aorund the track twice, skipping (forward and backward), stretching muscles as we walk, lunges etc.

OK, I wasn't this serious!!

After we warmed up, Ryan took us to the dark cardio room and had us on the treadmills. We were all super sore...he only had me on a 4.0 incline at 3.2mph. I felt like a loser because it seemed so small but he said it was ok for me -- good thing because I was TIRED!

We did that for something like 15 minutes and then he had us do more lunges, kettle bell, maybe squats, and the kick our hand thingie...or maybe it was the reach for out legs while we do crunches...don't quite remember.

After burning our legs off, we went to where the machines are and did some arm weights, push ups, and planks. Do you KNOW what a plank is? Do you KNOW how hard it is to keep almost 300 pounds of Tessa off of the floor and up on my hands and toes? Pretty hard. And after the third set of three for 10 seconds, my arms were a bit wobbly...

Another thing, I had to learn how to do it right! Ryan is always yelling at me "TESSA! butt DOWN!" So finally I yelled back "THAT ISN'T NATURAL" (insert embarrased face here)

This is the way I wanted to do it:

(It's the ghetto in me)

This is the right way:

So yeah, that was Thursday! Saturday is a whole 'nother story! Oh, here it is real quick!

Saturday we got a bunch of us together so there were 12. We went into the studio and got out steppers and mats and did a fun little circuit training. I swear some people cried, others quit. I WANTED TO KEEP GOING! (yeah, not during the middle part but after we were done of course)

It was good music and fun! I did have an injury though. I was doing push ups and my arms gave out on me and BAM! right on my knee! Oh well!

So I still get way nervous before each training session. I'm nervous about tomorrow, always concerned that I won't be able to "make it" scared that I will have to give up, that it will be too hard.

(oh and a mini confession: I had a Baja Fresh burrito for dinner *GASP*)

First Day of Training

2010-03-03T20:55:00.000-08:00

Where to start... Tuesday was the first day of training. Before meeting Ryan, I went to see the nutritionist and get weighed and stuff. I was down 4 pounds! YAY! I ended up running a bit late and had to run to the gym. As soon as I got through the front gate, I hear "Tessa get up here, now." AHHHH!

So I get upstairs and Ryan says "two lap, now, you're late" *insert sad Tessa face*

I run one lap, quickly walk the second and join the other two girls in my group. We started off doing stretches. Of course, these aren't those feel good, relaxing stretches you do on a mat! Ryan had us skipping to stretch our calves, we did these big steppy things...basically moving and stretching at the same time.

From there we did a few more stretches like lunges and push-ups (in what world in a push-up a stretch?) This is where it gets exciting! Remember on orientation day how I was so freaking amazing and did like 2,200 push-ups?!?!?

Yeah, couldn't even do one real one...NOT ONE!

Anyway, after stretching, we did another lap and then we had circuit training. The first "circuit" was kettlebell swing, I think somehting called an x-crunch, punches with 5 pound weights in each hand, push ups. We did three rounds of this with a lap around the track in between.

After that the circuit changed. It was then double kettle bells, where you do arm curls then presses, squats, something else, then this thing on our back where we had to kick a leg up and crunch at the same time. Again, with a lap in between each circuit.

So here is how it went down: I think I died! I was weak because I am sick and that didn't help anything! Basically, about half way through I cried...yup, I cried! I know, I know, but I WAS TIRED! No one saw me...it was during one of the laps, I just was like "I'm too fat for this crap," and tears came, but I finished crying before I finished the lap and no one was the wiser.

This is going to be hard, really, really hard. I would say at least two or three times harder than I thought.

Today I couldn't sit down to pee, I basically did a controlled fall to the toity. It hurts to go up the tiniest step, and it is getting worse! AND GUESS WHAT?!?! I have to work out tomorrow.

So I am loading up on the advil and water and should be praying that I can at least do it tomorrow. How does that work...if I try to squat and I can't because my legs are jello, what then? Will I get yelled at because I "can't" do it!??!!? Ok, I am stressing myself out, I just gotta do it!

Thanks for reading, everyone's support has been great! I also REALLY appreciate comments, they keep me going!

Some funnies I didn't mention about the orientation

2010-02-26T23:00:00.000-08:00

So I was just talking to my sister and realized there were some "Tessaisms" from the orientation that I forgot to mention.

But first, I think it was Shannon who asked what kind of push-ups I had to do. It was somewhere in between a girl push up and a boy push up. They were these kind:

Ok, so after doing 22! of those bad boys, we went down stairs to take pictures for the website. If you know me, you know how super proud I am of the fact that I can take an awesome picture and somehow lose about 50 pounds in seconds! Well, these guys were having none of that. "Can you not tilt your head so much?" "Look straight at the camera" as they are POINTING IT STRAIGHT AT ME!!!! You may or may not know, but when you are fat it is not just suggested, it is a requirement that you take pictures from a downward angle and with your head tilted. Let me demonstrate:

VS.

So after asking to take my own picture, and being denied, I finally approved of a slightly goofy one (who knows which one they will use grrr)

Walking up the stairs from taking the picture I spot Ryan my trainer. So instead of say "Hi Ryan! How are you!" or "Heya!" in response to his greeting I yell: "TWENTY-TWO PUSH-UPS, BITCH! " across the room. I promptly apologized, blamed it on my excitement and explained that I don't swear anymore because I am a Christian (slight moment of temporary hyperactivity insanity)

I also got super giggly when this one personal trainer (who is hot due to an Australian accent) was measuring me and put the tape around my "widest part" which of course, happens to be my butt and we got in a discussion about how much I love my butt and how it is my favorite part of my body...oh, Tessa

I was basically really hyper and excited the whole time which usually equals a ton of comedy for the people around me but me feeling like a boob afterward. Good times.

On a non-TFC note, I bought these today and am in love!

Titan Fitness Challenge Day Orientation

2010-02-24T22:17:00.000-08:00

So, is it just a coinkidink that our mascot is an elephant?!?!

Well, here's the good new...his name is "Tuffy" and he is a Titan! LOL

Today I had orientation for Titan Fitness Callenge. I was sort of dissapointed to hear that only about 80 people applied; it is such a great opportunity.

So for those who are wondering, here are the details:
First three weeks I get small group (there are only two of us) personal training FOR FREE! Second three weeks I get it twice a week, third three weeks once a week. The last week we are on our own...so you figured it out...10 week program.

Here are the trainers...my trainer is Mr. Ryan all the way top left. Yeah, he's super cute but not in the "I wanna do you way" more of the "I want to set you up with my best friend and pinch your cheeks" kinda creepy, I know. I hope he kicks my butt

The areas measured are:
Weight Loss
How many times around the track in 12 minutes
Strength (measured by push-ups)
Flexibility
Food log
Measurements

This is how I did
Track...well...9 times around the track is a mile. I knew I couldn't so a 12 minute mile but I wanted to get close. I actually thought MAYBE I would somehow get all this stamina and do it. Not so much. I made it 7 times around though...I'll take it
Strength I did 22 push ups!!!! Most girls were doing under 10, some couldn't do any at all...I must have cheated
Flexibility I am in the "normal" range! I got to a little over 10 inches, that would be past my toes the way it is measured!
I didn't write down my measurements and we will have to wait until next week to see how I did on food log and weight loss...so all in all I have to say, it was a sucess!

I just ask for everyone's support and encouragement while I do this, it will be fun and I am happy to be representin' the Comm Disorders Crew!

A little inspiration for me:

HEY! It's 2010!

2010-01-18T21:15:00.000-08:00

I knew I wasn't going to be good at keeping up with this whole blog thing. I don't really have much to say, and when I do...well, it's usually just telling silly happenin's of my life. I guess that it why I have only shared this blog with mah sister and Wayne so far...because it really isn't that interesting. As school approaches I am sure I will forget all about it.

So, today. I hung out with Cheryl today and I think someone forgot to tell her that rain ≠ a storm. When I got to her house it was only sprinkling so we decided to do some shopping. I had to pick up a prescription at Wallymart (hey it is $5 opposed to $30 there) and then we were going to go to lunch then hit up Target. A high class shopping day, right? So we get to Wal-Mart and it is raining, not pouring, rainging. Cheryl is not happy about this. Rain coat, umbrella, the whole thing to walk into the store, dodging cars as we hurry. She did OK though.

Leaving was worse. It was starting to rain a bit harder and "IT IS STORMING OUT HERE! WE SHOULD JUST GO HOME...I don't think we should be out in this weather, it's dangerous." Are you seriously? Is it acid rain? Is my skin going to melt? She cracks me up!

We got some Carl's Jr. and watched Fame...very relaxing day.

In other news...I found more mouse poop with probably does mean more mice. I am so upset by this.

Apparently there is nothing an exterminator can do until they are done doing construction is the empty lot adjacent to my backyard. So I guess we just have to keep catching them...sorry Wayne...and Mr. (Mrs.) Mouse.

Gimme Turkey!

2009-11-26T10:28:00.000-08:00

I'm back from my morning trip to the gym, only 40 minutes on the bike, about 15 miles. Soaked from sweat, I said bye to my best friend Jayme. She was kind enough to join me at the gym on her vacation. On the way home I REALLY thought about what I was thankful for. I decided to make a long list...but then I got lazy so here are the big things I am thankful for:

• My husband
• Sam, Jeremy, Carl
• Momma Jansen, Janeen, Tony
• My extended family
• Jayme
• Chana
• The new friendship I have found in Shannon
• All my other friends from school and Merzie, and the Fo sometimes
• My new Faith…and that is what it is FAITH
• The love and comfort my puppies have brought me (right this second I will
forget about the stress)
• My education
• Owning my own house, even though we share it with a mouse
• My new love acceptance of exercising
• Warm Blankets
• Music
• Freedom

I'm sure I forgot about things/people but this is what I am feeling right now. So while I portion out my thanksgiving linner (4 oz turkey, cup of stuffing, cup of mashers, .5 cup cranberry, cup of broccoli casserole) I will thank the Lord for all that he has given me.

Kung Fu Panda Inspires Me!

2009-11-25T15:36:00.000-08:00

No, seriously. Po is the coolest cartoon character EVER. He wants to be an awesome kung fu guy even though he's a panda. He has all the heart in the world, he doesn't give up...he just needed to figure out what his motivation was! On top of everything he is funny as all get out! I want to be Po when I grow up.